I'm supposed to be alone And I'm supposed to like it Maybe you can relate? I was the "solitary soldier" That was the name I gave to me To face the battles of life on my own I cry when I sense your loneliness I don't know why Does it open wide a door I locked inside Under the guise of independence? Lovers just like TV Two lives tainted by a recent tragedy I'm afraid to say I love you But I won't say I'm sorry Instead I... Thank you for all of your respect and loyalty And all the little things that make me feel like royalty Thank you for telling me just the right thing at the right time When I needed healing in the darkest hours of the night Thank you for the words I sorely needed to hear For permission to feel the rage welled up throughout the years And most of all Thank you for modeling this sense of gratitude By thanking me for being me and never acting like I owe you I don't want you to protect me I want you to walk beside me Watch me get hurt I just want to know that you're still there to love me I feel guilty, I'm a burden But I won't say I'm sorry I quit that game Found something else to beat that life of shame Though you think your face is stone cold And I've agreed Even my father's eyes have never looked at me quite that way Maybe that's why You burned right through my armor The compassion was so foreign It melted steel away I'm afraid to say I love you But I won't say I'm sorry Instead I... Thank you for expressing so much empathy to me For choosing me, which I know can't be a choice you made lightly Thank you for putting up with all the burdens that I bear The distance and the sorrows and the times of my despair Thank you for the shift in how I view humanity Most people are shit, and now I do my own thing And most of all Thank you for modeling this sense of gratitude By thanking me for being me and never acting like I owe you Thank you for all of your respect and loyalty And all the little things that make me feel like royalty Thank you for telling me just the right thing at the right time When I needed healing in the darkest hours of the night Thank you for the words I've waited all my life to hear That no one needs to fix me...I'm fine as I appear And most of all Thank you for modeling this sense of gratitude By thanking me and never acting like I owe you Even if we see one day it's destiny For each of us to go our own way and be solitary I will retain this confidence and gratitude I won't forget the lessons that I've learned because of you Thanks for showing me I'm not as broken as they say For teaching me how to cope with nightmares in the day And thank you for Thanking and loving me for what comes from me naturally Please come to me when you're in need because I owe you

What do I have to do to be heard? What do I have to do to be seen? What do I have to say to make sense or seem like a dignified human being? How do I tell my children? Am I still pure enough for God? If I say I'm not a victim Is that a choice, or just denial? I'm not supposed to be one of THOSE women. Humbled by a tragedy, oh, wrap me up in skin and bones within the dark when I'm alone. Minimized, manipulated... Denial exacerbated by the subtle wish of the child inside: desire for a normal way of life. Trapped here by the choices I've made, mired in my diminishing pride. How could I let it happen this way? I'm just as stupid as they say If I accept his kindness does it erase my right to feel violated? If there was never violence, what do I use as evidence? I'm not supposed to be THAT kind of woman... Humbled by a tragedy, I would rely on suicide, but inside I've already died. And I'm enslaved by the rape of my ego. What if they were right the whole time and the message was distorted by self-appointed martyrs' cries? There's nothing left for me to believe in. The other girls are beckoning, but I can't justify this fury when every single soul in society is measured by how well they can place in the boxes we created for race and religion, gender, community and every self-important underground scene. I'm not supposed to be one of THOSE women. Humbled by a tragedy, oh wrap me up in skin and bones within the dark when I'm alone. I've always wanted a guardian angel... And now I've been saved by a beautiful mind who's not pretend this time; there's someone else in real life. There's someone else in real life.